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Up at the lake
We spent the weekend in the hazy fog of snow over Emerald Lake. It’s surreal in the snow. Ethereal. Black and white. And it’s quite possibly my favorite place on earth.
It’s been over a year since we got married there. We walked around the lake – all 5.5km of it – in a foot of snow. I took photos. We built fires. We played yahtzee. We ate. And ate. And ate. And it was exactly what we needed.
Sandra and I have been in a bit of a stressful place the past six or seven (or eight or nine) months. Not our relationship; more or less every other aspect of life. I think it’s getting better, easier. I think we have some plans now, some ways forward.
All I know for certain is that my life is going to change in a few weeks. It’s good, and scary, and sad, and hopeful. I don’t do well with “unknown”. I’m a planner, and a list-maker, and an organizer. That’s why things like the retreat were so much fun to pull together. I need my path forward to be clear. Right now, it’s like I can see only a few feet ahead.
I had a mentor, a long time ago. His name was Chris B, and he was one of the most inspired leaders I’ve ever had the ability to work for. (And Greta, feel free to tell him that. I miss him.) He once told me, and I’m paraphrasing, “When you feel afraid of something new, it’s a sign of great growth. You can handle it.”
I know we can handle whatever is thrown in front of us. The last four years together haven’t been easy, and yet, spending time together last weekend really showed me (as if I needed proof!) how very good we are together.
Now, I just need to get through today.
November 17th, 2008 at 7:46 am
i’m so so soooo glad that you and sandra were able to go up to the lake over the weekend and take some time for yourselves, celebrate yourselves. so excited for these next steps milt. breathe through the fear and know that everything is falling into place in the exact way it should. talk soon. xoxoxo
November 17th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Thanks for the quote. I needed that.
I know that the trials in my marriage have only made us stronger. Still, you think sometimes you’re strong enough, can’t we get a break?
Blessings to you both!
November 17th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Gorgeous photos, beautiful post. It makes me appreciate what I have. Thanks for that.
November 17th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Gorgeous photos! Like you, I really prefer things planned out and not unknown – but some of my most important (maybe best) experiences have happened “off the plan”. Best wishes to you.
November 17th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Deep breaths. I hate the unknown too. Sometimes I get so freaked out and try to control every situtation so even the most perfect days turn into disasters. I have been learning to just let it be. I read your post and felt that scary pull and wanted to reach out and hug you and remind you that you are so strong and beautiful and have accomplished so much. You can do this. You always can.
November 17th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
you are not alone in this… and i’ll be glad when today is out of the way too.