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Letting go

May 31st, 2009

I’m sitting here, several hours after I was supposed to have moved into the main floor one bedroom apartment, stewing a little and trying to relax on my IKEA mattress, sitting directly on the floor, bequilted and otherwise unadorned.

See, today’s move didn’t exactly work out the way I’d planned. I spent much of the day yesterday packing my things into reusable grocery bags and suitcases and a few boxes. And hauling much of it to the hallway, the bathroom, and the living room on the main floor of this apartment, the second floor of the house.

Today, I was supposed to move into the first floor apartment, where Sandra and I are going to live for the foreseeable future.

I had it all planned.

I was ready.

I should have known better.

It started out kind of funny. The people currently living there were taking their sweet time moving out. The girlfriend was walking for coffees, was checking her email. The boyfriend was loading the car as quickly as he could, but it was still a car, and he was still the only one doing any work.

Around noon today, my roommate/landlord mentioned that the new renter was bringing his stuff by this afternoon. And yes, this is the guy who will be taking over my old room.

And this is how I’m currently sitting on my mattress, on the floor, in my old/current/present attic room, looking at piles of Adam’s stuff, and wondering if I’ll be able to move into my old place tomorrow after work.

What I’m working on in life is this; letting go of things I have no control of.

Today is the perfect example.

I had all my things together. Was ready. Had a plan. But in the end, life doesn’t really pay attention to plans, or things, or readiness. It just throws things out there. And waits to see how you respond.

Me, I went through the full spectrum today. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. Annoyance. Acceptance.

In the end, I did my laundry and went to the Gladstone for a few beers and some fries. That was me, waving the white flag.

No, it’s not really fair. I paid for that place. And tomorrow, Adam’s going to want to sleep here. So I’ll either end up on the floor in the living room or in my new place, and shoot me if I’m not in my new place. But for tonight, I can’t do anything about any of it.

So, I’m going to finish my beer, read a few pages, and go to sleep, knowing that I’ll have another long night ahead of me tomorrow.

All this travel through life

May 28th, 2009

It’s been wearing me down a little over the past six months. Like so much of life, the road from Calgary to Toronto has been much longer and complicated than we’d expected. When I came here in late November, I never dreamed it would take this long to get ourselves extricated from Alberta and living […]

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Starting with Fear, Ending with Freedom

May 26th, 2009

Today, the Supreme Court of California announced its decision about the challenge to Prop 8, a voter-approved measure to prohibit equal marriage in California. Many inspirational people and organizations have had a lot to say on this subject, not surprisingly. I’ve been following my twitter stream closer than normal since the announcement was made at […]

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