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All you’ve got iswhat you’ve livedthrough
In preparation for moving house across Canada, I’ve spent most of the past two weekends packing up, sorting through the archaeology of my life, deciding what to store, what to keep close, and what to finally let go. And so, in a lot of ways, I feel like I’ve been spending time with my much younger self.
I’ve always been a “packrat”, or as I like to call it, a “conservator”. I’ve kept receipts, ticket stubs, negatives, business cards, and all those other little insignificant mementos of the places I’ve been, of the people I’ve known. Over time, some of them lose their significance. Others become all the more important to the little stories that make up my life.
Among other things, I discovered the following:
- A group 5 x 7 photo of all the vacationers at the Club Med in Phuket, c. 2000. Of particular interest are the raunchy South African couple in the front row, grabbing at each others’ privates. Classy.
- My Indigo Girls scrapbook, c. 1998 – 2001, detailing shows I’d forgotten, trips I’d taken (Atlanta, Oregon, Minnesota), and fellow fans I ran into just once and never again.
- A box of my first stash; crappy acrylic blends purchased at Zeller’s in Edmonton the summer I taught myself to knit.
- A tiny little notebook that I used when traveling, c. 2005. Most of the pages are blank, with the exception of several in a row, filled with sketches and attempts at cyrillic, with which I attempted to purchase train tickets out of Krasnoyarsk.
- A packet of letters and cards from my significant ex-girlfriend, c. 2001-2003, reminding me of the term “hunner-bunner”, long since disappeared from my vocabulary.
- Several laminated maps showing the Paris Metro, rail routes in Europe, and San Francisco, all c. 1999. I don’t know if they make these anymore. I think they were called Streetwise Maps, and they were fantastic for traveling. Of course, now I’d be much more likely to just use Google Maps on my blackberry, data roming charges notwithstanding.
- Photos of my old coworkers from eFinance, out at a dance place, drinking Tequila, c. 2001. And no, I haven’t had a Tequila shot since.
- Mementos from my cross-country roadtrip, with Chrystie, when I moved from the University of Illinois to Sunnyvale, c. 1999, including a AAA guidebook and a lot of photos.
How much of these small things do you carry with you through life? Enough to remember the good – and the bad? Or just a few select artifacts that bring a smile to your face?
I threw away a whole bunch of my past this weekend. All the photos and journals stayed, of course, but some of the old and less important objects; maps, cards, receipts… those could go.
Part of getting older is knowing that my memories have already changed, have already faded, and they’ll just continue to do so. But the stuff that’s really important, I’ve already documented. Here on the blog, in journals, in scrapbooks, and through letters and postcards.
I hope I still feel ok with it down the road. I always worry about regrets after going through a bit of a purge like this. But history has shown me that I never actually regret it after the fact. The stuff that matters isn’t stuff, anyway. It’s what I remember when I take a moment and close my eyes.
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May 19th, 2009 at 8:30 am
they DO still make the streetwise maps, FYI>
i threw away a ton of old letters when i cleaned out stuff after arriving in chicago…and i have regretted it pretty much every moment since. ah well. i have no place to put them anyway.
May 19th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I used to keep lots of momentos like ticket stubs, but I’ve mostly stopped doing that so that I don’t have stuff building up. However, I have adopted one of Jason’s habits of putting cards or photos in books that I’m reading that I intend to keep. Then if you go back to reread someday, you’re reminded of the past for a second. For example, I have a card from Jason’s mom in one of my knitting books that I find about once a year, and it makes me giggle every time I see it. I also have a picture of my friend Jackie’s daughter sitting on Santa’s lap and bawling, and that’s in one of my cookbooks. It’s amusing to find these things tucked away.
May 21st, 2009 at 2:32 am
I’m doing the same thing right now, going through and tossing stuff, scraping of all those layers of old life, lived by another, younger, more naive person. These mementos are pretty much meaningless to anyone but me, unless I can connect them in a meaningful way to the present. Photos can stay, but those old notes from grad school? More room for fiber stash, and less baggage.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:04 am
Sunnyvale? I graduated from Sunnyvale High! in 1980. They closed the school two years later in 99 I think it had become a christian High… Kings Dominion or something…I miss California.
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 am
That’s a cool idea. I’ve done that by accident before, finding a receipt or ticket stub in a book I’m rereading.
May 22nd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I keep cards from my kids and hubby, but other than that, every time I go through my “stuff” I pare it down. I mean really, who need wedding invitations for couples long divorced?
Congrats on selling the store- it’s great that you will only need one residence! and I never did meet Cooper…
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Hi Amy! — I’m working in a library (of course!) and was just shelving books to make this Friday afternoon pass more quickly, when I picked up “Sensual Crochet”— I saw your name on the cover and tons of great UofI memories came flooding back! I lost track of you sometime after you moved to Sunnyvale (and I moved to Kansas) but I am glad to find you immersed in yarn! I haven’t moved in about 8 years, but I would love the excuse/motivation to go through mementos a bit, as long as I didn’t have to get rid of too much stuff. Take care, lissa