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Letting go
I’m sitting here, several hours after I was supposed to have moved into the main floor one bedroom apartment, stewing a little and trying to relax on my IKEA mattress, sitting directly on the floor, bequilted and otherwise unadorned.
See, today’s move didn’t exactly work out the way I’d planned. I spent much of the day yesterday packing my things into reusable grocery bags and suitcases and a few boxes. And hauling much of it to the hallway, the bathroom, and the living room on the main floor of this apartment, the second floor of the house.
Today, I was supposed to move into the first floor apartment, where Sandra and I are going to live for the foreseeable future.
I had it all planned.
I was ready.
I should have known better.
It started out kind of funny. The people currently living there were taking their sweet time moving out. The girlfriend was walking for coffees, was checking her email. The boyfriend was loading the car as quickly as he could, but it was still a car, and he was still the only one doing any work.
Around noon today, my roommate/landlord mentioned that the new renter was bringing his stuff by this afternoon. And yes, this is the guy who will be taking over my old room.
And this is how I’m currently sitting on my mattress, on the floor, in my old/current/present attic room, looking at piles of Adam’s stuff, and wondering if I’ll be able to move into my old place tomorrow after work.
What I’m working on in life is this; letting go of things I have no control of.
Today is the perfect example.
I had all my things together. Was ready. Had a plan. But in the end, life doesn’t really pay attention to plans, or things, or readiness. It just throws things out there. And waits to see how you respond.
Me, I went through the full spectrum today. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. Annoyance. Acceptance.
In the end, I did my laundry and went to the Gladstone for a few beers and some fries. That was me, waving the white flag.
No, it’s not really fair. I paid for that place. And tomorrow, Adam’s going to want to sleep here. So I’ll either end up on the floor in the living room or in my new place, and shoot me if I’m not in my new place. But for tonight, I can’t do anything about any of it.
So, I’m going to finish my beer, read a few pages, and go to sleep, knowing that I’ll have another long night ahead of me tomorrow.
June 1st, 2009 at 5:38 am
I can empathize. The last time we moved the people moving out delayed both the move and the closing. Our movers had no place to bring our stuff so they drove around the city until they couldn’t any longer, then they parked the truck for the night. We finally got access to our house late in the evening, but we had nothing. Thankfully a friend brought us her yoga mats and some extra blankets. We order a pizza, and then sleep on the floor with our dogs. But we were happy to at least have our house.
June 1st, 2009 at 6:14 am
What amazes me is those are the same people who will ask and request respect when they can’t actually provide it – gee !
June 1st, 2009 at 10:34 am
Sorry. That’s a super bummer! I’m beginning to realize too, that the chances of something crappy happening are directly proportional to how prepared you are…for everything BUT the crappiness. Best of luck for your move tomorrow!
June 26th, 2009 at 12:58 am
I feel like time is going incredibly fast and slow at the same time. The weeks/months seem to be crawling…but at the same time, I turn around on Monday and suddenly it is Sunday again